Xaviers Scalp Replenishing Cream
by eight ball
Summary: pointless crap that amounts to absolutely nothing, result of late night writing. please R
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: we own none of the x men, marvel does, don't sue we have no money!!

A/N: do not try and comprehend these strange happenings, as they will leave you with mind-boggling consequences. This time I've written it with my brother.

*sound effect*

XAIVERS SCALP REPLENISHING CREAM

It was another normal day in x men land and all was good. Wolverine and da x men crew were chillin in da crib as always. Then out of the blue ye old Cyclops struts in and slaps Logan in his face with a glove declaring a duel.

CYCLOPS: I challenge you, sir Logan of Canada, to dual,

BEAST: A dual ….that is preposterous.

CYCLOPS: QUITE YOU,

He said as he knocked poor beasty off his rocking chair.

CYCLOPS: The match is for the fair lady Jean's hand in marriage.

JEAN: What the hell are you talking about goon boy, I didn't agree to this

CYCLOPS: QUITE YOU

Knocking poor Jeanie off her rocking chair. 

So while these ye old happenings were happening, the x men were none the wiser that Logan had slept walked into the cerebro room and was taking a snooze. When he awoke, ye old Logan was overcome by his cravings for his secret desire, or his desire for his secret craving….. 'XAIVERS SCALP REPLENISHING CREAM'. He slowly stumbled into Xavier's quarters barely being able to contain his sinister urges, but alias he was at a loss, he was unable to locate the luxury item of his choosing. So after exerting himself to the fullest, he took a seat in Xavier's zesty chair only to discover the bounty awaiting him under his posterior. Thrilled at his achievement, ye old Logan prepares to satisfy his sinister urges for…. XAVIER'S SCALP REPLENISHING CREAM. Then without warning ye old Cyclops somersaulted and leapt into the room crazed with duelling insanity. Once again he slapped ye old Logan in the face with his ye old duelling glove.

CYCLOPS: I challenge you sir to a ye old DUEL. What is that you have there Logan??

LOGAN: ummmmmmmmmm

CYCLOPS: well I shall be confiscating from you

Cyclops quickly snatched the replenishing from Logan's grasp, which somehow caused Logan to be zanily ejected from Xavier's zesty chair. Cyclops immediately started to guzzle down the juices of the luscious plunder, just when ye old Xavier cruised into his office:

PROF. X: CYCLOPS (in a high pitched screechy voice) why is there a hole in my roof? You haven't been playing with my ye old zany chair have you?? Hey what is THAT in your hand 

Inquired the noble Prof X.

CYCLOPS: errr ummm…. Sir I challenge you to a…..

PROF X: SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS SECRETLY BEEN CONSUMING MY CONFIDENTIAL HOARD OF XAIVERS SCALP REPLENISHING CREAM. THAT'S IT CYCLOPS YOUR IN A PICKLE OF A JAM NOW.

Later…..

*Ring ring, ring ring*

All: I'll get it

There was a mad scramble for the phone; it was a rare incident to get a call from the outside world or any form of social contact, Hank got to the phone first.

BEAST: Hello

WOLVERINE: Hey its me, I mean argh (pirate argh) its me, I've been captured by me hearties the pirate starjammers and they left me with the Shi'ar, who then discarded me on Asteroid M. So please come to save me and this plunder chest of fruitful delights.

BEAST: and what would those delights that you hold so cautiously in your plunder chest be?

WOLVERINE: I can't say exactly, but it does include the best twinkes in all of the Shi'ar space.

GAMBIT: Oy, Beast mate get Logan to pick up some lamingtons and shrimp on the way back for me and my shela (I know we are paying out our selves, it's a result of watching too many Americans trying to impersonate Australians)

ROGUE: stop treating me like you aussie girlfriend, crikies Im not yer shela. And what the hell happened to the Cajun accent, ah liked it a hell of better.

GAMBIT: sorry chere.

BEAST: ok we'll be there soon

*click*

PROF. X: Cyclops will not be able to join you when you go into space, because he has been drinking my hoard of scalp replen…..um I mean cat ear medicine [yes that'll fool them]

JEAN: [I heard that]

CYCLOPS: All RIGHT, I'm off to fetch the ear medicine from the ye old bottomless sea.

PROF. X: yes now hop in the submarine and off ye go.

TO BE CONTINUED……… but only if you review

Note to self: Communal scrubing 


	2. Xaviers Scalp Replenishing Cream

Disclaimer: we own none of the x men, marvel does, don't sue we have no money!!

A/N: do not try and comprehend these strange happenings, as they will leave you with mind-boggling consequences. This time I've written it with my brother.

*sound effect*

XAIVERS SCALP REPLENISHING CREAM

It was another normal day in x men land and all was good. Wolverine and da x men crew were chillin in da crib as always. Then out of the blue ye old Cyclops struts in and slaps Logan in his face with a glove declaring a duel.

CYCLOPS: I challenge you, sir Logan of Canada, to dual,

BEAST: A dual ….that is preposterous.

CYCLOPS: QUITE YOU,

He said as he knocked poor beasty off his rocking chair.

CYCLOPS: The match is for the fair lady Jean's hand in marriage.

JEAN: What the hell are you talking about goon boy, I didn't agree to this

CYCLOPS: QUITE YOU

Knocking poor Jeanie off her rocking chair. 

So while these ye old happenings were happening, the x men were none the wiser that Logan had slept walked into the cerebro room and was taking a snooze. When he awoke, ye old Logan was overcome by his cravings for his secret desire, or his desire for his secret craving….. 'XAIVERS SCALP REPLENISHING CREAM'. He slowly stumbled into Xavier's quarters barely being able to contain his sinister urges, but alias he was at a loss, he was unable to locate the luxury item of his choosing. So after exerting himself to the fullest, he took a seat in Xavier's zesty chair only to discover the bounty awaiting him under his posterior. Thrilled at his achievement, ye old Logan prepares to satisfy his sinister urges for…. XAVIER'S SCALP REPLENISHING CREAM. Then without warning ye old Cyclops somersaulted and leapt into the room crazed with duelling insanity. Once again he slapped ye old Logan in the face with his ye old duelling glove.

CYCLOPS: I challenge you sir to a ye old DUEL. What is that you have there Logan??

LOGAN: ummmmmmmmmm

CYCLOPS: well I shall be confiscating from you

Cyclops quickly snatched the replenishing from Logan's grasp, which somehow caused Logan to be zanily ejected from Xavier's zesty chair. Cyclops immediately started to guzzle down the juices of the luscious plunder, just when ye old Xavier cruised into his office:

PROF. X: CYCLOPS (in a high pitched screechy voice) why is there a hole in my roof? You haven't been playing with my ye old zany chair have you?? Hey what is THAT in your hand 

Inquired the noble Prof X.

CYCLOPS: errr ummm…. Sir I challenge you to a…..

PROF X: SO YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS SECRETLY BEEN CONSUMING MY CONFIDENTIAL HOARD OF XAIVERS SCALP REPLENISHING CREAM. THAT'S IT CYCLOPS YOUR IN A PICKLE OF A JAM NOW.

Later…..

*Ring ring, ring ring*

All: I'll get it

There was a mad scramble for the phone; it was a rare incident to get a call from the outside world or any form of social contact, Hank got to the phone first.

BEAST: Hello

WOLVERINE: Hey its me, I mean argh (pirate argh) its me, I've been captured by me hearties the pirate starjammers and they left me with the Shi'ar, who then discarded me on Asteroid M. So please come to save me and this plunder chest of fruitful delights.

BEAST: and what would those delights that you hold so cautiously in your plunder chest be?

WOLVERINE: I can't say exactly, but it does include the best twinkes in all of the Shi'ar space.

GAMBIT: Oy, Beast mate get Logan to pick up some lamingtons and shrimp on the way back for me and my shela (I know we are paying out our selves, it's a result of watching too many Americans trying to impersonate Australians)

ROGUE: stop treating me like you aussie girlfriend, crikies Im not yer shela. And what the hell happened to the Cajun accent, ah liked it a hell of better.

GAMBIT: sorry chere.

BEAST: ok we'll be there soon

*click*

PROF. X: Cyclops will not be able to join you when you go into space, because he has been drinking my hoard of scalp replen…..um I mean cat ear medicine [yes that'll fool them]

JEAN: [I heard that]

CYCLOPS: All RIGHT, I'm off to fetch the ear medicine from the ye old bottomless sea.

PROF. X: yes now hop in the submarine and off ye go.

TO BE CONTINUED……… but only if you review

Note to self: Communal scrubing 


End file.
